Private Finance (TV series episode)
Private Finance is the eighth episode of the eighth season of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H; Directed by Charles S. Dubin, the episode was written by Dennis Koenig. W.C. Heinz, Richard Hooker, Ring Lardner, Jr., who all were co-writers for the 1970 M*A*S*H* film, who were uncredited, also contributed as writers on the episode, which originally aired on November 5, 1979. Synopsis Klinger (Jamie Farr) offers financial help to a poor Korean girl, Oksun Li (Denice Kumagai), who he knows, only to have the offer mistaken as a proposal of prostitution by her angry mother (Shizuko Hoshi); Colonel Potter (Harry Morgan) and Margaret (Loretta Swit) try to help smooth things out between Klinger and the irate Mrs. Li, while Hawkeye struggles to keep his promise to a dead soldier named Corporal Eddie Hastings (Mark Kologi), who arrived as one of the wounded, leaves a windfall of ill-gotten gains behind which he wished to be sent to his parents in the States. Full episode summary Klinger has a drink at Rosie's Bar when he spots a local laundry girl named Oksun Li naively attempting to proposition a soldier for money in exchange for sex. In an attempt to stop her from walking down that path, Klinger takes the girl away from the bar and asks why she is approaching the soldiers. Oksun Li reveals that she is desperate for money to try & move her mother away from the fighting, and the pittance they receive from washing clothes is not nearly enough to help. Klinger offers Oksun Li nearly all the money he is carrying to help her, but Mrs. Li arrives and (upon seeing this exchange) assumes Klinger is trying to solicit her daughter - and immediately tries to attack Klinger. The corporal escapes thanks to some incoming choppers. Wounded have arrived, and one of the patients, Corporal Eddie Hastings, has an unusual request: before he goes in for surgery, he makes Hawkeye promise that the contents of his money belt are to go to his parents if he doesn't make it. More concerned about the young man's injuries, Hawkeye initially doesn't take him seriously, but when Hastings insists, Hawkeye tersely agrees. In the O.R., Hawkeye and B.J. are both feverishly operating on Hastings as his injuries are found to be worse that they thought, but despite everything they try, Hastings dies on the table. Hawkeye and B.J. are despondent over losing him, but they're shocked when Klinger reveals Hastings had $8,873 stashed in his money belt, and even more shocked when they see that it's all in American currency and not military scrip. Potter thinks the money was illegally obtained, but Hawkeye refuses to believe it, since Hastings came off to him like a clean-cut, all-American kid. He and B.J. decide to look into it further with two of Hastings' buddies in Post Op, Corporals Dolan and Vitello. When Hawkeye informs them that Hastings didn't make it, Dolan reservedly asks, "Who got him? Their side or ours?" The two then tell of Hastings involvement in a variety of underhanded operations including crooked gambling, black market dealing, and loan sharking at 100% interest; rumor had it that Hastings even had some local Korean heavies to enforce loan repayment. Vitello explains that Hastings was all right when they first met in basic training, but when he fell in with a bad crowd, he quickly became corrupt and started robbing everyone else blind. Despite CID's report that Hastings had no criminal record or warrants against him, protocol dictates that the money is to be sent to the authorities at I-Corps, but Hawkeye intends to honor the promise he made to Hastings and send the money to his parents, but as it's such a large amount, Potter suggests writing a "carefully worded" letter of condolence to them. After many false starts, Hawkeye, while carefully avoiding any description of Hastings' crooked enterprising, finally finishes the letter and reads it to Father Mulcahy, who's impressed with the results. Meanwhile, Klinger is still trying to dodge the relentless Mrs. Li, even briefly returning to wearing women's clothing to avoid her. When the angry mother confronts him with a pitchfork inside the office, Colonel Potter intervenes. Oksun Li insists that Klinger actually stopped her from working at the bar and was only trying to help. Colonel Potter (and later Margaret) sympathize with the Li's plight and agree to try & find a way to help. A week later, everyone is having a drink at the Officers Club when an aggravated Hawkeye bursts in with a letter from Hastings' parents. The letter reveals that another soldier who knew Hastings was sent home months earlier and had told Hastings' parents about their son's shady dealings in Korea. In the letter, they tell Hawkeye that they don't feel right keeping Eddie's money, so they have sent it back to Hawkeye in the hope that he can use the money to help someone in Korea. While Hawkeye has no idea what to do with the large bankroll, Potter and Margaret quickly see an opening to help the Li family and give them $500 to travel south to Pusan and get away from the war. Both women are immensely grateful, with Klinger giving Mrs. Li a quick goodbye kiss on the cheek, earning a coy slap from Mrs. Li in appreciation. Now, with $8,373 of Hastings' copious stash still remaining, Hawkeye, B.J., Winchester, and Klinger all wrangle over how to spend it. After tossing around the names of various charities, Hawkeye decides to simply split it up, giving some to everyone, which meets with approval all around. Hawkeye then proposes a toast to Eddie's memory: "Eddie, wherever you are, whether you know it or not, you did good." Fun Facts *This episode also features credits that say "Also Starring Gary Burghoff as Radar," even though Radar went home several episodes ago and does not appear in the episode, which started in 'Period of Adjustment' *The episode's title, "Private '''Finance", is somewhat misleading, in that the character that this episode revolves around is a '''Corporal. *In the syndicated edited version, the detailing of Hastings' crooked ways are edited out, so all you heard was "...then he started hanging around some of the crumbs of the outfit, and next thing you know, he was stealing from everyone blind..", which hardly seemed to justify his comrades' enmity. But the regular, unedited version of the episode gives you the whole story. *Adjusting for inflation, $8,873 in the early 1950s would be equal to about $84,120.39 in 2019. This seems like a ridiculous amount, especially to be carrying around in a money belt in combat. *Near the end, when they're sending Oksun Li and her mother off to Pusan, Hawkeye thanks them for using the "Sherman Potter Travel Agency", and B.J. chimes in about the "Save the Klinger Foundation", which was a play on words, referring to an actual organization called the "Save The Children Federation". *In the epilogue, while Hawkeye, Klinger, B.J., and Winchester discuss who to donate the rest of Hastings's money to, Hawkeye mentions the "USS Hope." This was a "Comfort-class" hospital ship, along with two others, commissioned during World War II for evacuation and transport of patients after primary care had been given. However, these ships were decommissioned shortly after the war and would not have been in service during the Korean conflict. Guest stars/Recurring cast *Shizuko Hoshi as Mrs. Li (Oksun Li's mother) *Denice Kumagai as Oksun Li *Mark Kologi as Corporal Eddie Hastings *Joey DePinto as Sergeant Crosetti (as Joey Pento) *Phillip Simms as Corporal Vitello (as Philip Simms) *Art Evans as Corporal Dolan *Mark Harrison as Soldier *James Emery as Soldier *Uncredited appearances: **Jennifer Davis External links *[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0638391/ M*A*S*H episode Private Finance at the Internet Movie Database (IMDb)] Category:Season 8 episodes